Mayonaise... I hate it!

Something I need to get off my chest... mayonaise! No, not literally of course, but I have to ask this question. Am I the only person in the world who does not like mayonaise? That white, creamy, eggy crap that seems to belong in every single bloody sandwich in every single shop you come across.

Pawn mayonaise, salad mayonaise, salmon and mayonaise. Want a ploughmans... cheese, ham, lettuce and fucking mayonaise. Dijon mustard and ham? Nooo... it's ham and mustard mayonaise. Horseradish and beef sandwich... sounds nice eh? Nooo... it's horseradish mayonaise.

What the hell is going on? Finding a sandwich with no mayo is impossible these days. It's driving me mad. Just when you see a sarnie that you think can't possibly have mayo in, your hopes and dreams are crushed as you see the tiny, almost embarrassed letters "with mayonaise" somewhere on the packaging.

Finally you see the "no mayo" section in Mark's and Spencer. Thank you M&S, may your profits soar... hang on... chicken and stuffing... are you having a laugh or what? So you can either have mayo or nothing in your sarnie. It might as well be the "this tasts like shit" section.

Pasta, chicken and mayonaise... tuna mayonaise, there's fucking mayo in the rolls... I'm suprised the mexican wraps don't have guacamole mayonaise...

If you hate mayo too... please let me know. Maybe we can do something about this...

Observations in the office

Quiet. Tap tap tapping of keys. Mumbled voices speaking on the phone. Gentle hum of the air conditioning. Glass office. Someone being interviewed. I can see their lips moving but they make no sound. Clenched hands, that "I'm interested in what you're saying" look on their face. Over gesticulation on behalf of the interviewer. If only he knew what a boring human being she is. He looks so enthusiastic, he really wants the job. I wish I could tell him he'll hate it. Tell him to go anywhere, anywhere but here. But no, he really wants it. He wants to hear the tap tap tapping of keys, the quiet hum of the air conditioning and he wants to be one of the mumbling voices on the telephone.

Quiet.